The Incomplete Idiot’s Guide to Artists. Batch 1

Standing Ovation, Seated

I have been collecting typical questions about artists and art for some time, and here’s the first batch of answers: often biased, sometimes rude, and always right. 

Amedeo Modigliani


Q: Almost all Modigliani’s nudes have eyes, which he left blank in many of his portraits. Why?

A: Amedeo slept with his nude models, and sometimes invited women to pose nude to shag them after. He also said, ‎’When I know your soul, I will paint your eyes.’ Obviously, it took him longer to know the soul of a clothed woman.

Q: Aha! I am beginning to understand nudists… Clothes get in the way of knowing the other person, right?

A: I am not sure it was their original intent, but they would be fools to reject your concept. 

Damien Hirst


Q:Why is he the greatest living UK artist?

A: For the same reason Van Gogh was the…

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